She was Irreplaceable
by g r i m x v a n i t y
Summary: Honda Tohru. A character that helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. [HisLove] Title may change & Under new author CHAP 3
1. Can't

Walang Kapalit

[Irreplaceable

By: Anonymous

**Story Summary**: Honda Tohru. A character who helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. Shall her desires be known[HisLove Previously named "_I need you back; I need you here to guide me"_

**Author's Note:** I hold an irresistible distaste for conniving fools like her. She was someone that had everything I wanted. [Standard Disclaimer Applies

Chapter 1: I can't go on forever

A woman about twenty-years-old walked down the busy streets of Tokyo, Japan (**Author's Note; **I forgot wherever they where living at this point. It's been a long time since I've read Furuba, I'll try my best to write it the best way I can.) Her dirt-coloured brown eyes wielded a vacant and empty stare, something quite unordinary for this particular woman.

Because, this woman was Tohru Honda, a cheery woman born into a life of poverty and grew into a skin without parents there to guide her into the start of her life. Despite what Fate has chosen for her new path, Tohru remained optimistic and happy throughout every situation in her life. It was a dull world for her to live in such a life of disarray and hate for everything that has taken her life away from her. From the time her mother was taken away from her, she knew that the path she had to take was one that she had to carve for herself.

Although, she was too young to understand how to "carve" her life in, she was fortunate enough to have people accompany her and help her fit in her skin of living. Alas, they weren't supposed to stay like that forever, Tohru's friends were friends and they also had a life of their own. Slowly, one by one, they released Tohru's hold on them, not knowing that their own desires caused them to leave the girl that they had cherished and promised to keep on cherishing from a young age.

While, Tohru was left all on her own to pick up her own self, the finishing blows to break her forlorn mirror were the worst out of all of them. Kyo Sohma and Yuki Sohma, the two that had unknowingly treasured them the most had acquired themselves someone else to love, someone else to care for.

Kagura, a cousin of their's had truly touched Kyo's broken heart, making him realize in the process that he truly loved her and that every moment he wasn't living alongside of her, he was wasting every moment by. Kagura and Kyo's relationship was one of the most surprising things to happen, knowing that Kyo never wanted to be with her at all in the past. But the past is the past, right? They truly loved each other and that's what mattered the most.

It was hurtful though; Tohru had grown quite fond of this carrot-topped cat. Even much more that she realized that she carried feelings for him, but it wasn't something that she was going to fret about. He was happy and Kagura was happy, two friends she made that helped to take care of her when she needed them the most.

Now, Yuki Sohma, the prince that repeatedly saved her for the sake of his own feelings for her. Alas, Tohru never realized his deepest feelings for her and mistook if for mere kindness out of his own heart. A bit discouraged by her view on him, Yuki had decided to longer pursue her, thinking that he mistook his feelings for her and thought it was only a motherly love. To prove himself that he was mistaken, Machi replaced Tohru's love in his heart.

It devastated Tohru to realize her true feelings for Yuki, unlike her relationship with Kyo; she realized that she was far more in love with Yuki.

"Ne-No! I can't be selfish at a time like this. How can I think such thoughts when they're happy the way they are right now?" Tohru mumbled under her breath, shaking her head vigorously. She paused; stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, people bumping into her. She sniffled slightly and rubbed her eyes; there were no tears present.

She knew from the bottom of her heart that she couldn't accept that fact of nature no matter how hard she tried. She was simply too emotionally attached to Yuki and Kyo that she couldn't just forget him altogether. She loved them both, it didn't matter that the love she shared for them both was different, but it was just simply a matter of not getting used to. In the past, Tohru had anticipated that she would lose one of them, but she never acknowledged the fact that she might lose both of them.

"I-I can't! I won't! I won't continue living like this anymore! I have to be happy for the both of them even if it hurts here in this small chest of mine! I have to persevere! Keep on going this race! Someone out there's just waiting for me and I can't be acting like this!" Tohru exclaimed to no one in particular. Onlookers paused, whispering into their partner's ears, obviously gossiping about the chestnut-haired adult. Despite the amount of looks she was receiving, she remained oblivious to the whole thing.

"Yes! Once I find that special person, I'll share him with the world and…and…and.."

"Honda-san?" A pause. Tohru turned around, surprise and shock gracing her features once she realized who had spoken her name (particularly her last name)

Soft, silky gray lock flew into the air, the sweet smell of blueberries filling her nostrils. The stranger's big, bright violet orbs met her plain muddy brow gaze, the individual's gaze almost questioning and a bit surprised catching up with Tohru around this area. A small tranquil smile was in place on his pinkened lips, his flawless features brightening at the sight of Tohru.

"Yuki-kun?" Tohru questioned, her mood lifting up. She advanced towards him, only to be stopped by a piercing gaze sent by Machi. Tohru paused and stopped, a bit intimidated by that look. While Tohru remained mesmerized by the simple sight of Yuki, she never noticed the presence of Machi. Tohru gulped silently, feeling an aura of hatred surrounding her.

Machi remained by Yuki's side, clinging possessively and almost desperately on his arm. Her expression was dull and practically emotionless, but would it still remain emotionless if it was partially full of complete loathing? Machi was a woman of extraordinary features, even if it remained just a little plain and simple. Machi mirrored a few of Tohru's features, specifically the color of both her eyes and hair.

"Is everything alright? We saw you standing here and you were just staring up into the sky, is there something wrong?" Yuki questioned. Yuki's voice was better than silk and satin combined; his voice was just so smooth and soft, it was hard to even wonder if he was anything desiring more than the female species. He was just too good to be true to even hope that he would spare a single glance at women.

"Of course!" Tohru said enthusiastically, forcing a grin to add onto her reassurance. Yuki returned her grin, giving her a small smile of his own. Not wanting to be to seem completely rude to her boyfriend (or is it that she simply didn't want to be left out?) Machi smiled at Tohru as well, grimacing inwardly.

Machi could care less of Tohru was upset or on her damn deathbed being so damn _optimistic_ and welcoming the Grim Reaper himself. Machi was an evil woman of twenty, almost transforming from her withdrawn shell to a conniving woman that could ruin anybody at a simple statement. Machi was a woman to be reckoned with, she had everything an ordinary woman could only dream of. Another thing that added her to be one of Japan's most envied woman, the additional fact that caused her to be numero uno was that her current boyfriend of one year was Sohma Yuki.

Machi cared about all of those factors that made her the woman she is now, but the thing that she strives to maintain the most is to be able to keep Yuki happy and not let anyone else come in between their little circle. Yet, Yuki desire not a woman of standards such as that. Oh no, he desired much more that the simple want of being happy. He wanted to _feel_ happiness and he wanted someone to understand his position as a cursed being of the Sohma family.

The one plagued of the memory of being the first to condemn his family into this irritating curse.

Now, Machi was simply a girl more than a friend and closer like a sister. Though, deep into the bowls of Yuki's mind, the place where Yuki had buried everything concerning his feelings for Tohru, he knew that Machi could never surpass Tohru and replace her in this heart of his.

"Honda-san? Aren't you supposed to be arriving home at this hour? It's pretty late for you to be wandering," Yuki inquired, cocking up an eyebrow.

"Ehto? I was just heading for work. What makes you think that I would be heading for home?" Tohru questioned him; confused by the question he shot her.

"Honda-san, it's 10:50—." Tohru cut him off with an upset cry. It was that late?

"No! I couldn't have missed work! How could I have been wandering around the whole city without noticing that it was already late and how could I've missed work?!" Tohru asked, taking a few sharp breath intakes.

"Honda-san," Machi said sickeningly sweet, "I'm pretty sure that your boss would understand that you were out wandering the city with not a single interest of work on your mind."

"Please don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure that they closed early," Yuki said reassuringly, lifting his hands in front of him and motioning that it was okay. Tohru glanced at Yuki and released a small sigh.

"I guess missing one day of work is okay.. as long as.." Yuki glanced at Tohru, a bit surprised by her sudden change of attitude. First she was devastatingly upset and now..

"I WORK HARDER, DO EVERYTHING AT A FASTER PACE TOMORROW AND FINISH EVERYTHING THAT WAS ASSIGNED FOR ME TO DO THIS DAY (which would be yesterday if tomorrow was today)," Tohru exclaimed, clenching her fist and looking up at the sky once more.

Yuki chuckled slightly and slowly pulled away from Machi's deathly grip. He advanced towards Tohru and grasped her hands into his own, squeezing them slightly. Releasing one of her hands, he lifted her face with his free one. He stared right at her, his violet eyes piercing through her soul, she felt as if he could read her very mind and everything within her embodiment.

"Tohru," Yuki said, saying her first name for the very first time in years, "remember what your mother asked you to keep a promise to 'work on your own pace and no one else's'?"

"H-Hai," Tohru responded, her face turning to a deep shade of crimson. She felt…so BARE and so exposed when she was in this position.

Machi glared at them, the feeling of complete distaste fresh on her senses. Yuki Sohma was her boyfriend and she was his only interest in life itself. It displeased her greatly that every time she saw these two together; it seemed as if she was the third wheel, the one who constantly tags along, even though Yuki was her own boyfriend, not Tohrus'. It was jealousy that drove her to be the best that she could be in Yuki's eyes.

While Machi was busy glaring holes into Tohru, a passing couple made their way. The woman giggled, nudging her lover.

"Oh honey look!" she whispered to him, pulling his arm. She smiled at him and nodded over to where Yuki and Tohru resided.

"Don't they look adorable? It looks like they're having a grand time being with each other," she stated, snuggling closer to his arm. Machi snapped her attention towards the hovering couple, her chocolate-coloured orbs narrowing with every word they made.

"They look as if they were made for each other. Sweetheart, can you see it too?" he whispered back, his gaze captured by the two young adults as well.

"Do… do you think that's what we looked like when we were together when we were younger? I hope so, they look darn cute with their giggling," she commented, straying closer to Machi.

At that last statement, Machi couldn't stand it any longer, she was offended and terribly irritated by their chit-chat with _her_ boyfriend and that treacherous demon.

"Pardon me for interrupting your…_talk_ but that's _my_ boyfriend and that girl is a simple nobody that desires nothing more than to ruin women like me by taking their lovers," Machi said icily, her brown eyes narrowing with complete distaste.

"Ah. Our apologies, we thought that they were together since they were obviously standing there giggling and not having a care in the world while you (the so-called girlfriend) remain here watching them while listening to us do some _small-talk,_" the woman retorted her voice cool and composed. It was plain obvious though that her words were dripping with sarcasm and completely unapologetic.

The man pulled his woman away before Machi started a match that she could not finish as well as she started. The couple strayed farther away from Machi and the two giggling adults; their features grim and serious.

"Apparently that woman can't comprehend that he loves another, especially since the truth lies right in front of her," the woman stated silently, her eyes no longer filled with a certain type of glee and happiness as she did conversing with the male.

"It won't be long, it won't be long for the end to arrive."

"It'll be a shame, but whoever he decides to choose will determine what exactly would happen to them."

"Let's see how they would take care of this, maybe it'll be prove worthwhile in the end?"

* * *

**Author's Note;** Constructive Criticism (comma use, verb use, sentence structure, etc)


	2. Home

Walang Kapalit

[Irreplaceable

By: Anonymous

**Story Summary**: Honda Tohru. A character who helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. Shall her desires be known[HisLove Previously named "_I need you back; I need you here to guide me"_

**Author's Note:** I hold an irresistible distaste for conniving fools like her. She was someone that had everything I wanted. (Standard Disclaimer Applies)

**Special Thanks for the first three reviewers;**

iMdr3AmIn0fU  
sportiegrl

LoveYukiAndTohru

**Chapter 2;** On the way home…

Silence engulfed the night; people that wandered the streets finally went to bed. The reasons? Unknown. Possibly the fact that they were either completely exhausted with their day or that the Yakuza were being terribly difficult lately and that there were more reports of young people murdered in their own bed that had crossed Yakuza gunmen.

Although despite the absence of the citizens of Tokyo, there were still three people lingering around, a boy with shining gray hair and two girls with chestnut-coloured hair. The two out of the three were walking ahead, the third person lingering a feet or two away from them.

The two walking up front seemed to be having a good time, the other girl slacking in the back, however, seemed to be all in her lonesome. The gray-haired gentleman glanced back at the girl behind him, his eyes widening in realization. He pulled a bit from Machi's grip, her grasp on his arm loosening a bit.

"Honda-san?" he called out to her softly, his voice smooth and comforting. Her chestnut-head shot up, silky strands of her russet-coloured flying. She revealed big chocolate-coloured eyes, full of kindness and compassion. She had a soft tanned face, from working outside or running errands; rosy pink lips that were plump and practically irresistible. She had potential to be _gorgeous_ like the high-time Japanese models, but in plain speech, she didn't exactly have the motive or the special "flare" that drove her to be _best-looking_ female.

"Yuki-koi?" the other chestnut-haired female asked softly, tugging his arm. The one called "Yuki" stared down at the woman holding his arm. He blinked, as if staring at her for the first time; her flawless face was sullied with make-up, eyeliner, eye shadow, foundation and lipstick. She was beautiful yes, but more in an artificial exotic way.

He turned his attention back to Tohru, a small smile gracing his already handsome features. Yuki Sohma, the most sought out bachelor in the days of Grade school, Jr. High school and in high school he got together with Machi. Although, that still didn't stop women from falling down to his feet and trying to ravish him with their unearthly goods.

"Come walk with us Honda-san," Yuki said, his violet-coloured eyes shimmering with kindness. Machi scowled, clutching Yuki's arm tighter than before. She shot Tohru a look that honestly said 'Don't-you-are-say-yes-and-come-here''. Seeing Machi's glare directed at Tohru, Yuki touched Machi's head.

"Machi and I wouldn't want you to feel at all lonely, after all you might get lost even if we're this close to you," Yuki said teasingly, extending his hand out to Tohru. Tohru hesitated and grinned at Yuki, shaking her head.

"I don't want to be intruding. I've already messed up your date with Machi-san," Tohru said, waving her hands in front of her, acknowledging Machi's glared directed at her. Truth be told, she really did feel lonely lingering behind them, but she couldn't do anything if the other did appreciate her presence, it would be…awkward.

"It's not a problem nor is it intruding," Yuki said, his voice stern. He momentary looked at Machi and gave her a solid glance, obviously telling her to agree with him and not say anything upsetting to Tohru.

"Yuki-koi, even though I'm an adult, I need to get home. My parents are worried that there might be some predators out here that might want to hold me out for ransom," Machi stated, putting on her own act. Yuki sighed at her response and turned to Tohru, extending out his hand.

"Give me your hand Tohru," Yuki said pleasantly.

"Uhm? No! Uhm.. I mean ehto..?" The chestnut haired woman shrank back, a bit unnerved by his sudden show of the "hand". Plus, she also had to recognize the fact that Machi was staring her down under unordinary circumstances. The look was so venomous that Tohru had half the mind to turn around and run away from them both.

Yuki narrowed his eyes; a bit irritated that Machi was acting so foully towards Tohru. She had done nothing wrong, so why was there room to be spiteful?

'_As soon as I get a moment with Machi, I'll have to ask her why does she behave in such a bitter mood,'_ Yuki thought silently. Advancing towards Tohru, he took hold of her hand. Yuki ignored of Tohru's pleas and felt her shaking under her grasp.

"See, isn't this better than walking all by yourself in the back?" Yuki asked her, his voice once again, soft and caring; Machi leaned forward and strained a friendly smile at the girl holding her boyfriend's hand.

Machi and Yuki kept on talking; Machi purposely making sure that Tohru didn't talk as much as she would be obligated to do. Moments passed by and they soon arrived in front of Machi's luxury mansion. The gates were adorned with decorative lights, preparations for the party in the upcoming week.

"Well, Yuki. This is where I'll take my leave, I'll see you at work, okay?" Machi said, pulling away from her boyfriend. She smiled slightly and stood up on her very tiptoes. Pulling Yuki by the tie, she leaned in, placing her lips lightly against his feathered skin. Her tongue prodded his lip, begging for an entrance; Yuki complied.

Tohru blinked, a bit surprised by Machi's passion for Yuki. It was evident to her that Machi loved him and that she had his best interest at heart, but something… something tugged and pulled at a corner of Tohru's heart. That moment, it felt like a dagger was pinpointed at her heart, plunging deep and deeper until her heart was torn into two. The sudden show of affection of these two beings was so… unbearable for her to keep on looking.

But…Tohru could _not_ look away. No matter how much she tried to pull away from the scene before her, she couldn't. It was just another omen to prove that she and Yuki were simply friends and nothing more can prove to him that she loved him. Machi has his heart and Yuki has hers, they balanced out.

Yuki pulled away from Machi, feeling a bit suffocated by her kiss. It felt awkward for him to kiss her, it was just strange, being with Machi for about four years and being a bit uncomfortable kissing her in public? Kissing in front of Tohru? It may be because that it was just a bit too soon…(too soon? They have been together for nearly four years and he still hasn't gotten used to be intimate with Machi yet?)

"Good night Machi," Yuki said, brushing a stray strand of brown hair away from her face. Yuki searched her face as he did this, trying to search something that was there that he wished; that he _hoped_ was there. Nothing. It wasn't there…

"Good night Yuki," she responded, thinking that Yuki was just a bit tired. Yuki nodded and pulled Tohru along with him. Machi waved after them, putting on her best smile, it wasn't until soon after that she released an aggravated scream.

"Honda Tohru, if you dare try to do something with my Yuki, I'll make you wish that you were never born. Or to make it even faster, I'll make sure to get you out of the picture," Machi murmured venomously. She stared after their retreating backs and quickly went inside her home.

"Machi? You home?"

Machi slipped off her shoes and ran to her bedroom, not really acknowledging the person who had called out her name. The chocolate-haired adult quickly slammed her door shut, locking it in the process. Her mud-coloured orbs glinted with a sadistic and murderous intent.

She was _not_ okay nor will she ever be.

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"Yuki-kun, you have a weird sense of humour," Tohru said giggling, pressing her free hand against her lips. Yuki beamed at her and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you Honda-san." Yuki cocked his head to the side and remembered something he had forgotten to ask her.

"Honda-san? Remember when Machi and I found you in the middle of the street?" Yuki questioned her, cocking up an eyebrow.

"Hai."

"What were you yelling about? I only heard 'I must persevere' and 'I must keep on this race', something like that" Yuki said thoughtfully staring at the sky, his expression thoughtful.

With that statement, the happy smile that was on Tohru's face was quickly demolished and in place of that smile was a grim thin line. For a second, Yuki thought he saw a flash of sadness cross her beautiful chocolate eyes, but it left as quick as it came.

"Ah…ehto… it wasn't really anything. Haha, I remembered about a show I saw when I was window shopping and a show of racing horses came on," Tohru lied, hoping that her first stuttering words didn't hint him off that she was lying.

Yuki glanced at Tohru, he knew that she was lying and it hurt him to know that she didn't trust him enough to tell him what's wrong with her.

"Are you sure Honda-san? Is there anyone else involved? Anyone bothering you at all?" Yuki asked, pulling her towards him. She stared right back at him, feeling about like she was about to break if she kept on this staring contest of theirs.

"N-no… Yuki-kun, I'm okay. I'm perfectly fine," Tohru commented, forcing (at least) a small smile on her face. She didn't want him to know, she didn't want him to feel anything for him except their friendship. It would prove too troublesome if anything else was to form.

A small glance that she received from Yuki was enough to know that he didn't believe her at all. Not one bit her story was enough for him to believe her. It was just to skeptical to actually believe.

"Yuki, please believe me, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfectly okay," Tohru said, her voice almost pleading. With a nod of his head, Tohru altogether brightened up, a relieved smile set up on her face.

"Let's go home, okay? I'm pretty sure that everyone's worried about us. Especially since that we were out so late," Tohru said happily.

"I suppose they would be more worried about you, knowing that you were supposed to be home hours ago. They know that I can handle myself," Yuki commented lightly.

'_Something's wrong. I can see it in her eyes that something's wrong. But... I can't force her to tell me anything if she chooses not to say anything…"'_ Yuki thought silently.

'_Yuki…he almost found out, that was a real big, close one. I have to be much more careful when I'm by myself and even more careful when I around him. That way, Yuki won't know that I have something to hide…or that I want to be with him. If he finds out…then it could be an end for out friendship and Machi won't probably trust me with Yuki that Yuki won't be around me at all. I can't be selfish, I need to distance myself from him…"_Tohru thought silently.

* * *

**Author's Note;** Constructive Criticism (comma use, verb use, sentence structure, etc) 


	3. Simple

Walang Kapalit

[Irreplaceable

By: Anonymous

**Story Summary**: Honda Tohru. A character who helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. Shall her desires be known[HisLove Previously named "_I need you back; I need you here to guide me"_

**Author's Note:** I hold an irresistible distaste for conniving fools like her. She was someone that had everything I wanted. [Standard Disclaimer Applies

**Special Thanks to the following reviewer;**

LoveYukiandTohruthank you for your outlook on fanfiction (note from previous author)

**Chapter 3:** It's such a simple thought, but why is it so complex?

"Yuki-kun, you're very funny," Tohru giggled out, glancing at the gray-haired male. They were still walking about the night, walking rather slowly. A small tranquil smile remained on her cherry-coloured lips, a soft rosy blush gracing her cheeks from laughing so much and spending a quiet night alone with Yuki. Tohru couldn't have imagined that she was all alone with Yuki.

Yuki smiled at Tohru, his eyes twinkling with happiness. He stared onward, the steps leading to their house quickly coming into view.

"Arigatou Honda-san, I appreciate the praise," Yuki said warmly, squeezing Tohru's hand just a bit. A small blush crept across her face; these little things made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Was it because of her feelings for Yuki?

'_That's a bit of wishful thinking, right?'_ Tohru thought, chuckling bitterly.

A moment of silence overcame them, even as they went up the steps leading to their house. Even though the silence was unbearable, the mere thought of him holding her hand and smiling at her made her melt with happiness, even though it was wrong to think that he would like her any more than a friend, it was just …

"Well, goodnight Honda-san, this is where we part," Yuki said, giving Tohru a small smile.

"Oh…?" Tohru glanced around and noticed that she was already within the house. Surprisingly, Shigure and Kyo were nowhere in sight.

'_Are they sleeping?'_ Tohru questioned to herself.

"Honda-san…?" Yuki murmured quietly, brushing his slim fingers through her hair. Tohru shrank back, embarrassed by his actions.

Yuki drew back his hand, seeing Tohru's expression. He simply smiled and turned away from her, heading towards his own room.

"'Night Yuki-kun," Tohru called out to him. A small smile graced her features as he turned around once more and gave her a smile of his own.

Smiling to herself, Tohru slipped inside her room. She placed her hand against her heart, feeling it pound even harder from when she was holding his hand. Everything about him made her heart soar and she thought that tonight (even though it was a bit shameful to think so) her feelings for him have increased.

"Is this wrong? Well is it?" Tohru questioned herself quietly walking to her bed. The twenty-year old woman sat on the foot of her bed, the pink covers wrinkling under her.

She clasped her hands together and bowed her head. Maybe it was time to talk to her mom about her problems; after all she hasn't talked to her in the longest while. Anyways, this'll be probably the first time she has talked to her mom after these two years.

'_Mom? Hi Mom, I know it's been a long time since I've last talked to you and I feel really guilty about not visiting your grave more often than I should've been. Please forgive me. I miss you and listening to you and your kind words. I'm sorry Mom; I'm being selfish right now, aren't I?'_ Tohru paused, taking a deep breath of her own.

'_Well, you see…I'm having these problems lately and I don't know…how to fix them. Wait! Don't worry, it's not about Akito, in fact—he's (_well, we should say she_) doing great and he's not as mean as he was before and he doesn't hit Kyo…or Yuki anymore! Isn't that great?'_

'_Mom? My problems aren't about Akito, but…it's more about Yuki. But…I think—that, I…I've fallen in love with Yuki. Well, I might be exaggerating when I say that I've fallen in love with him, but deep inside…I have this feeling when I'm with him… it's like I've been out in the cold with nothing on and this warm blanket wraps around me and makes me feel incredibly safe and loved. Also, when I'm with him, there's butterflies in my stomach that won't leave me alone, even if he's no longer here beside me'_

A momentary pause. A hand ran over Tohru's closed eyes, searching for the tears that were supposed to be falling over heartbreak. Thankfully, none came.

'_It's just that…I have no clue on how he's gonna react to what I _feel_ about him will he open me with open arms and turn away Machi? No, Mom I would love that to happen, but I don't want Machi to feel the sadness that I do, but…I just can't help but feel a bit… selfish… but I just can't seem to find anyone that can overpower the love that I have for Yuki. I…don't want to say it…but I…'_ Tohru trailed off.

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Yuki stared intently at the book that was given to him by Tohru; he smiled absentmindedly and stroked the cover, fondly remembering the precious looks she gave him and the warming brush of her hand against his own. It was an enjoyable time for Tohru, Kyo and him, though he would say otherwise in the face of others.

'_Honda-san…'_ he thought silently, remembering her uneasy attitude earlier. He was curious, and he wanted to know what was wrong with her, but he didn't want to force her to come to him, if she told him about what was bothering her, he would feel as if she trusted him.

Gazing out the window, Yuki recalled the earlier events that happened. It wasn't the most pleasant date he had with Machi, but that was okay. Although…

'…_I don't think being called by endearing names by elder women that could easily pass for my great-great grandmother should be suitable for anyone. Truth be told, that date with Machi was gruesome, I wonder if I'll ever step foot in that store ever again,'_ Yuki thought an involuntary shudder running up and down his spine.

'_Though, when I saw __**her**__ I thought I was going to overflow with happiness and relief. It was as if all of all of the unpleasantries of that day were washed away just by her smiling.'_

The gray-haired male approached the window, his alabaster-coloured finger trailing lightly against the warm window. His violet-eyed gaze caught the lustrous moon, the shining orb glowing with all of its beauty. The trees gave in a lovely affect as well; the light of the moon gracing the tree-tops.

Tohru Honda.

Yuki grimaced slightly and his fingers drawing together into a tight fist. He needed to see her, and he wanted to see her _now._

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Yuki rapped lightly on Tohru's bedroom door. He knocked once more, enough to be heard on the other side but muffled so the others that were lingering in the nearby rooms wouldn't be able to hear it. Not wanting to go to his room without seeing her face, Yuki reached for the doorknob, silently turning it.

He pushed against the door, making sure that he swung the door in a manner where the creaks would be barely audible. He crept in her room, pushing the door behind him; he didn't want Shigure or Kyo seeing him hovering over Tohru while she was sleeping. They'd probably think he would do something _weird_ of the sort.

The gray-haired adult smiled as he gazed at her sleeping face. Although, there was something amiss. . . Yuki approached Tohru's bed, kneeling down beside her. He smiled absentmindedly and stroked her velvet chocolate hair. His fingers trailed slightly down to her smooth cheek.

'_? Wet?'_ Yuki thought to himself, stopping down to her cheek. Raising his hand to his mouth, he licked the dampness.

'_Salty. Could it be tears?' _the twenty-year-old male thought to himself staring down at her. It was curious, how could she be crying? A nightmare or something more? He thought nothing more of it, instead he leaned forward, his velvet-smooth lips brushing against hers.

"Though it's wrong, I just can't help myself, please don't thing ill of me Honda-san. Good night my rice ball," Yuki ran his fingers through her hair once more before exiting her room.

Tohru sighed, her lips forming silent words that should've been said earlier. What should've been said remained unspoken.

Yuki should've lingered for a bit more, for if he had, he would've heard the words that would've decided his future relationship with Tohru.

"Please don't leave me Yuki."


	4. Dream

Walang Kapalit

[Irreplaceable

By: Anonymous

**Story Summary**: Honda Tohru. A character who helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. Shall her desires be known[HisLove Previously named "_I need you back; I need you here to guide me"_

**Author's Note:** I hold an irresistible distaste for conniving fools like her. She was someone that had everything I wanted. [Standard Disclaimer Applies I've always imagined Kyoko to be a lively person and to have a "no-shit taking attitude"; I hope my visual of her will be okay

**Chapter 4:** Don't Leave me alone.

Light peeked out of the puffy white clouds, rays of light gracing the simple dojo-styled house centered in the middle of a collection of trees. Crickets continued with their unappreciated sense of music, constantly keeping the eerie silence alive with just a simple stroke of their legs. It was an okay sound, not exactly to be overly-pleased about, but it was something and something was _always_ better than nothing.

In the middle of this serene atmosphere, a young woman remained at the bottom of an oak tree, propped gently against the hard bark. Almost on cue, a leaf suddenly detached itself from a thing branch, the leaf oh-so-slowly falling down on the tanned face of the sleeping woman. The tickling touch of the leaf aroused the woman awake, her eyes fluttering open.

Big brown muddy eyes stared out into the sky, the fluffy white clouds slowly wandering past as she eased herself out of her sleep. Her hands reached out to rub her eyes, wiping away the residue of what the Sandman had sprinkled on her eyes.

'_That's funny, it looks exactly like Shigure-sans' house…but it looks a little withered away,'_ Tohru thought absent-mindedly, wiping a stray strand of her brown-coloured hair. She approached the dojo-styled house, feeling a bit apprehensive about the whole scenario. It was weird—Shigure's house never looked like this, it looked so dead for some odd reason.

"Wh-what's going on here?" Tohru whispered under her breath, her hand reaching out to touch her lower lip. She continued to stare at the barren house that used to be lively with Kyo's and Yuki's constant arguing and Shigure's funny, but weird jokes. Everything seemed out of place, something was amiss, yet Tohru couldn't… she couldn't put her finger on whatever it was.

A giggle.

"Hm?" Tohru's head snapped up at the sound of the laughter.

Another giggle. Tohru's eyebrows furrowed, a bit curious on what was causing the sound of happiness. A flash of silver caught her eye and altogether, Tohru stopped. Everything went blank. Tohru Honda would recognize that speck of silver anywhere, even if she was old, withered away and on her deathbed, she would still recognize that speck anywhere.

"Yuki-kun" she whispered. The name itself, it felt _so_ foreign to her, the taste of his name on her lips was so bittersweet, but…how can such a name that she always wanted to try out on her lips suddenly felt so…undeniably bitter?

Tohru slammed her eyes shut, taking deep, relaxing breaths. This feeling of saying his name didn't feel right for her to say. It almost felt like she wasn't worthy enough to be permitted to say his name. She opened her eyes, afraid to see what else can make her feel so empty inside.

Tohru advanced towards Yuki, hoping she could get a word from him, or even acknowledged. Maybe he would explain to her why the Sohma household in that dojo-styled house seemed unkempt and abandoned. She approached him, her footsteps light and reflecting her hesitancy of approaching him. For some odd reason she felt as if he wasn't expecting her to be _here_. Maybe it was some type of woman's intuition or her negative thoughts fueling her mind, but it just made her not want to talk to him.

"Yuki-kun?" she whispered hoarsely. The brown-haired adult blinked, just a few minutes ago, her voice totally fine, but now…it seemed as if she hadn't used her voice in years!

The silver-haired male turned to face her; the smile that was once on his face was now quickly wiped away once he caught her gaze.

'_He…looks so much older…_' Tohru thought to herself, estimating his age to be at least in his early thirties. Even though, he still looked like the kind Sohma she fell in love with. She approached him, her eyes watering with salty tears.

"Honda-san?" he whispered slowly. He stared down at her, his violet orbs so piercing and observant. It almost as if he was trying to read her inside and out. The brunette nodded her head silently, the unshed tears in her eyes ready to ease themselves down her tanned face.

"Yuki-kun, why do you look so old?" she questioned, her voice barely over a whisper. Her gaze broke and her head dropped down to the ground, tears staining the ground wet. She couldn't face him while she was crying, could she?

The silver-haired prince approached her, stopping a good four inches away from her. Slowly, he raised his hand to wipe the anticipated tears. His hand trailed down to caress her face, his thumb wiping the oncoming tears. He raised her face, urging her to look at him.

"You…I'm sorry, but I can't believe you're Honda Tohru," he said silently, he dropped her face and stepped back, pain clouding his eyes. Tohru simply stared at him in shock, and took a step forward. Her hand that was resting on her chest tightened, the sudden statement of what he said to her shot a deep pain in her heart.

"Yuki-kun…?" She could only utter his name, in hope that he would listen to her.

'_What is he talking about? I'm right here, aren't I? What's going on?'_ Tohru thought frantically, never breaking his gaze this time. She opened her mouth to ask him the questions on her mind, she needed answers and she needed them now. Most importantly, she needed Yuki right here alongside her, telling her she was okay and this was just a simply prank.

"Honda Tohru died nine years ago, the day I was _supposed_ (**Author's Note: REMEMBER THIS WORD!!**) to wed Machi," Yuki said, already answering her questions.

"Wha—?"

"Yuki!" Yuki and Tohru both turned to the source of the voice. A young woman dressed in a simple dress, floral designs on the hem of the dress complimenting it nicely. The woman wore a straw hat, the shadows covering parts of her face, making it a bit hard for Tohru to figure out who this person was.

"Machi?" Yuki replied, turning his back on Tohru.

Machi?

Tohru's heart nearly stopped at the sound of her name. The woman who scorned her for reasons she did not know was here as well? What about the curse of the Sohmas'? Wouldn't Akito send Hatori to erase Machi's memories of Yuki-kun? But what would be logical of that? Yuki and Machi were going out for awhile and Akito hadn't said much to object to their relationship. But this was all-too fishy.

"Hurry Yuki, Kimi-chan and Kiley-kun want their daddy to buy them some ice cream, so please hurry up. What are you doing anyways?" Machi asked sweetly, fingering a stray straw strand that was poking the side of her head. She smiled at him sweetly and grabbed him gently by the arm. Standing on her tip-toes, Machi placed a firm and sweet kiss on his lips.

It wasn't a sloppy kiss or a forced kiss at all. In fact, Yuki seemed to enjoy Machi's sudden show of affection towards him. Painfully, Tohru stared on, her breaths coming even more ragged than the last. Her chest throbbed excruciatingly, it seemed as if a dagger was poised set on her heart, marked and stabbed in the most vulnerable spot.

Yuki broke their kiss, his head turning to face the crestfallen Tohru. Machi, noticing his lack of attentiveness, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the direction of a patch of trees.

"Yuki, the kids are waiting, they were calling you earlier, but they said you seemed a bit distracted and it was like you were in a trance, a dream-like state," Machi said, urging Yuki towards the patch of trees. Yuki look at her strangely but complied. He silently headed towards the patch of trees, not once turning around to face Tohru.

"Honda Tohru, honestly I would have never guessed I would see your face around here. In fact, I never thought I would ever see you at all."

Tohru jumped. She didn't notice that Machi was still here. Machi cocked her head to the side, a bored expression playing across her face. She wore a simple white dress accompanied by a pair of flat-heeled shoes. The outfit didn't really suit her, it made her seem totally innocent and nice, and that something she was _not_. Even so, she was terribly intimidating even at this light.

"Machi-san?" Tohru whispered, her hand still clutching the fabric of her shirt.

"That would be Sohma-sama to you. Yes, I've married Yuki Sohma," Machi added seeing the confused look on Tohru's face.

"Wh-what?" Tohru's gaze fell and she stared at the dirtied pavement, finding it hard to look at Machi straight in the eye.

"The first day we were supposed to be married…well, let's say we had a few difficulties before we actually got married." Machi smiled coldly at Tohru, a terrifying glint sparked in her eyes as she spoke.

"Though, you're death has put a few things in perspective for Yuki, he, in fact has chosen me to be his wife," Machi said smugly, a smirk on her face.

Tohru's head shot up, the last few words adding salt to her wounds. Tohru trembled, Yuki chose Machi? That…it didn't feel right. No, it was right, wasn't it? They were together in the last few years of high school and were together in their twenties. But what did that all have to do with anything?

'_I was with Yuki-kun first, I knew him first, I loved him first…I was …'_ Tohru trailed of in thought, her mind in its' own jumbled mess. She was such in a state that she didn't even know what she was thinking. She fell to the ground, her hands wrapped tightly and securely around herself. Her body shook violently, the thoughts racing throughout her head.

"Toh-ru-chan, I was always first," Machi said finally. She smiled and turned her back on the crestfallen Tohru.

Tohru remained on the dirtied pavement, her body shaking violently. It wasn't true was it?

"Yu…Yuki-kun?" Tohru murmured silently. Her voice was barely over a whisper.

"P—please don't…don't go. C—Can't you under…understand? I—I love you…" she said to herself, her eyes still wide and unblinking. Her eyes welled-over with unshed tears. Her eyes watered up even more, the stinging sensation began to pierce her eyes. That broke the barrier that held the tears; they flowed freely down the sides of her face, staining her tanned face.

"No…no…"

At that moment Tohru collapsed on the dirtied concrete.

000000

Completely shrouded in darkness, the brown-haired woman lied sprawled on the floor, her hair flown askew. A shining bright light hovered over the woman; lightly touching Tohru's sleeping face.

'_It's…it's so warm,'_ Tohru thought to herself.

'_Open your eyes.'_

'_I want to open my eyes. Who are you?_'

'_Open your eyes hon', I hafta' talk to you_'

Tohru's eyes busted open, her chocolate-coloured orbs. The omniscient glowing orb hovering over her face, it felt so warm…and so comforting. It didn't hold a physical appearance; it simply was a circular orb that was glowing, nothing more nothing less.

"_Yo, that was a really weird dream you have."_ The glowing orb said.

'_This voice…it sounds familiar.'_ Tohru thought to herself.

'_So, you like that kid, right?'_

"…I—I do. But he doesn't feel the same way! He has Machi-san and…and …"

"_Ch. What's your point? It doesn't mean that since he's with her that he loves her. Love goes two ways…and right now, that boy's confused about his feelings_"

"I…I won't be able to…I'm nothing special" Tohru said, her eyes cast downwards. Yes, she felt nothing compared to Machi. It was as if Machi was a china doll, poised and graceful whereas she was a ragged doll, dirtied and worn-out.

'_Abandoned_' Tohru thought bitterly.

The ball spoke nothing, acting as if it was choosing their words before actually speaking.

"_You are thinking so less of yourself; you are worth so much more than what you say right now. You are kind, beautiful in every way. You're nothing fake and you're the real thing. You can love Yuki for who he is and what he is and what can Machi do if she knows nothing?'_ The ball's words and speech changed drastically, its once-rugged sounding voice now calm and full of wisdom.

"_Tell him how you feel, you might be surprised of the circumstance,'_ the ball said levitating out of reach.

"Th—thank you, for your help and nice words. But…who are you?"

"Someone watching over you. Before I leave, your mother…"

Tohru paused, anxious to hear what message her deceased mother had left her.

"_She said "hey Tohru! Keep your head up and always be yourself. Don't look down on yourself, 'kay kidd?'_

Tohru smiled. That was so typical of her mother to say.

"Thank you; please…please send my love and my thanks to her. And…thanks to you, I won't be as sad anymore."

With this said, the glowing sphere evaporated into thin air, leaving a tranquil silence that left Tohru into a deep dreamless slumber.

000000

Tohru shifted in her bed, her covers falling past her bust point. A small chuckle emitted above her. A woman, about in her late twenties or early thirties hovered over her. She stared intently at Tohru, strands of her orange-coloured hair falling on her face.

"Damn Tohru, you need to go for him. Don't act like your damn father at this point. You need ta' be happy," Kyoko said, stroking her daughter's hair fondly.

"Damn, I wonder how can kids be so damn dense?! How the hell do they cope with not knowing what they want to know?" Kyoko sighed.

Kyoko leaned over Tohru's sleeping form, kissing her right above the temple.

"Go get 'im kid." She said before disappearing into the night.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, I think this is the last re-vamping. Next, if I get just another review. I'll start on the next and supposedly upcoming chapter. School's started and all these clubs I'm participating in are basically woah. Anyways. Enjoy this chapter and I hope it's much better than the last one. All of the previous chapters are gone and deleted, the originals are gone. So, I can't bring it back. My friend has also deleted it from her computer. Anyways, bai bai.


	5. Farewell

Moushi mou everyone. This is long-time Sai Saki here to finally report what's happening in this small head of hers. XD Well, my head isn't that small. Though, I have to say that I really appreciate all of your helpful criticism and praising of my stories. I really do appreciate it all, I hope that you'll read this all the way through.

Well, stop to stalling, I'll jsut get down to the point. Lately, I reading the past few issues of Furuba and that all made my opinions go downhill. The quote that Yuki made just crushed my whole point of view of Tohru/Yuki shippings. He said, I quote," I'm a bit embarrassed to say, but I found a mother in her." Or something that crossed that train of thought. That crushed my perspective of it ALL.

I know a true shipper would stick to their favorite pairing at all time . . .but when those words came out of his lips it jsut sorta crashed down on me. I mean I realized that they were somewhat alike, and I usually never go for pairings that are so alike. I usually for total opposites.

It may not seem like a reason but for me it impacts **everything. ** Gomen Nasai for telling this all to you that I'm quitting in writing after a years' worth. I just can't seem to write this fic. Please understand, that I _meant_ to finish at all.

Though a friend of mine knows the whole entire plot of the story and she told me she'd finish it if others agree to me as well.

Gomen Nasai.

Sai Saki


	6. Sugarcoat

I need you back; I need you here to guide me

By; Anonymous.

**Author's Note;** A story that had been long since forgotten, only to be revived by a strange individual that befriended the old storyteller in a past lifetime. The past was brought up once more and, in memory of the old storyteller; the acquaintance finally decided that this story of hers were not meant to be left untold, for in the old storyteller's memory. Let the past be re-told

Chapter 5: Sugarcoat these dreams that I wish to be true

Sunlight peered through the purple curtains, rays of light touching a face of a brunette. The bed shuffled under her, the body positioning itself in a comfortable place that hid her face from the light. A light moan escaped her pinkened lips as she opened an eye.

With a small sigh, she slowly got up from her bed, pushing the pink covers away from her frail body. She stretched out her arms and glanced at her bedside clock. Her eyesight was still a bit groggy, the sands that the Sandman had slipped in while she was sleeping.

'_It probably isn't that late_,' she thought sleep still dominant in her mind. Slowly, Tohru got out of her bed turning to fix her bed.

In her moment of grogginess, she never heard the door opening. A small yawn emitted from her lips and Tohru leaned forward, trying to get out the wrinkles that remained on her bed covers (**Author's Note; Isn't that called a comforter as well?**)

"Tohru-san?" An arm snaked around her waist while another grabbed her arm. The individual pulled her arm close to Tohru's body, their head resting against her chocolate-coloured head. Tohru blinked, totally shocked by the sudden statement and sudden show of affection.

"You feel a little warmer than usual.." she heard him say again. Tohru's heart skipped a beat and she could feel the hot blush creep on her face. Tohru resisted the urge to look up to her captor's face, knowing all too well on who has captured her.

"Yu..Yuki-kun?" she asked, her voice barely over a whisper. She felt him nod in return. His warm breath tickled her, traveling from the strands of her hair and down to her neck. Tohru blushed incredibly, lowering her head. It was all too much for her to handle. The closeness between his was unbearable. She felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the only thing she could do was utter his name.

"? You feel even hotter, are you sick Honda-san?" Yuki questioned, pulling away from Tohru. He shifted his position away from her and glanced down at her, bending down at eye level. His gray-coloured eyebrows knitted together, suddenly concerned for Tohru's well being.

"Honda-san? Do you have a fever? You're red," Yuki stated, his violet orbs glimmering with worry.

"Ah..Ah.. No! I'm okay, I.. I just.. It just felt stuffy in here and I guess last night was too hot and I had the covers.. so—" Tohru broke off, stopped by a finger against her lips.

"Just take it easy, okay Honda-san?" Yuki said, oddly close to her. Tohru stopped and nodded, she was slightly embarrassed by this closeness that she and Yuki shared. Her muddy-coloured eyes met his vibrant, violet eyes. His eyes… it was so mesmerizing that you could instantly loose yourself in them.

Tohru turned her gaze away, knowing she would be at a loss of words (than she already is?) if she kept on like this.

"Hai! Yuki-kun, I'll get ready for breakfast. I'll meet you downstairs," Tohru said cheerfully, turning to smoothen out her bed covers. Yuki twisted away as well, heading for the door.

"Honda-san?" Yuki mumbled, his gray bangs overshadowing his eyes.

"Hai Yuki-kun?" Tohru answered happily, turning to face Yuki's back. She silently waited for his reply, her knees weak. It almost felt as if she would fall over any second now. She was so close to him, so close!

"Never mind, I'll see you downstairs," he said turning to give her a friendly smile.

Yuki stepped out of the room and silently closed the door behind him, leaving Tohru alone. The chocolate-haired teenager frowned, feeling the strong pang of sadness aiming at her heart. Her hands reached up to her heart; her hands clutched her pink nightgown. She grimaced and sank down to the floor, it was all too much, and she couldn't handle being here with him. Being here, living in the same house, seeing each other at school. It was all too emotionally hard on her.

Tohru released a sigh, wondering when all of this madness would end.

* * *


End file.
